


i follow your steps with my feet

by pro_daydreamer



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast), The College Tapes (Podcast)
Genre: Adam's perspective of the end of episode 18, Also Oliver calls, Alternative Perspective, Angst, M/M, assumed character death but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27372931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pro_daydreamer/pseuds/pro_daydreamer
Summary: After Caleb's call, Adam rushes to try and find him, dreading what he might find.Spoilers for The College Tapes episode 18
Relationships: Adam Hayes/Caleb Michaels
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	i follow your steps with my feet

**Author's Note:**

> brought to you by an excessive use of italics

_ I love you, Adam. _

The phone is still by his ear and Adam can hear the words echo in his ear in the silence that follows. He’s frozen in place, fear rushing through his blood. 

Adam’s fingers shake as he tries to call Caleb back, pressing his phone against his ear and listening to the long drone as Caleb doesn’t pick up.

“Come on, Caleb. Answer me.”

The phone goes through to voicemail and Adam tries again, pacing around his room as he waits for Caleb to answer.

Nothing.

Panic seizes him and Adam’s mind begins to race far beyond his control. Why wouldn’t Caleb answer his phone? He sounded like he was running but surely he’d  _ answer  _ for Adam. 

He’s  _ always _ answered for Adam.

The possibilities run through Adam’s mind, branching off and always seeming to end up in the same place. He can only imagine Caleb, lifeless and stiff on the floor. Adam’s own body trembles as he presses his phone to his ear one last time and hears nothing but that low, empty drone.

_ Fuck. _

Caleb sounded panicked over the phone, about to do something dangerous and Adam knows, he  _ knows _ that he has to find him. If something has happened to him, if he’s not answering the phone, then Adam has to find him now.

The tower. Caleb said he was going to the tower. 

Adam rushes to pull his shoes on, stumbling in his hurry. He grabs a jacket and he’s practically running out the door when his phone goes off in his hand. Adam’s heart lurches in his chest and he scrambles to answer, barely even looking at his screen before shoving the phone to his ear.

“Caleb?” he asks desperately as soon as the call connects.

“No, kid.” Oliver’s voice is harsh in his ear and Adam’s heart sinks a little. “He ran off with the fucking book.”

“He just called me, I think he’s trying —”

“I don’t know exactly what he’s planning but I’m sure it’s a bad idea,” Oliver says and Adam can hear that he’s out of breath, like he’s running, and Adam remembers that he needs to be running too. His keys slip from his hand as he tries to unlock the door and his fingers shake as he tries to fit the key in the lock and turn it.

“Where is he, Oliver?” Adam asks as he finally pushes the door open and scrambles to lock it behind him.

“I don’t know, he left the boathouse but —”

“I know he’s heading for the tower but do you think I can stop him before he goes there?” Adam asks frantically.

“I’m not sure,” Oliver pants. “I think he’d get there before either of us. He did have a head start.”

“Fuck,” Adam says as he begins to run.

“Find him, Adam. If he’s in the tower then you need to stop him from doing whatever fucking stupid thing he’s planning and I don’t think I’ll get there in time.”

“He’s going to destroy it,” Adam says, his breath ragged as his feet pound along the pavement.

“I’m sure he’s going to try,” Oliver pants and Adam hears his footsteps stop.

“I’ll find him,” Adam says and hangs up the phone, slipping it into his pocket as he continues to run towards the tower.

_ I love you, Adam. _

Caleb’s last words ring through Adam’s mind as he runs. Air rips painfully through his lungs but he doesn’t care, he has to find Caleb, has to make sure that he’s ok. 

The tower isn’t nearing quick enough, lurking ominous and too, too far away. Adam tries to run faster, as fast as his weary legs can take him as the bones in his shins feel like they’re splintering and his ribs feel too tight in his chest. He can’t breathe.

The blood running through him feels like acid and he feels every muscle sting as he finally reaches the heavy doors. He pulls them open and slips inside, letting it slam shut behind him.

Silence engulfs him as he stands in the entrance to the building. Adam registers the sound of wind from outside but his own breathing is loud enough to drown out any other noise in his ears. Caleb is nowhere to be seen and Adam begins to wander around searching for him. It’s too dark to see clearly and the old building has far too many hiding places in it. If Caleb is here he could be anywhere.

Adam sweeps around the entire room, looking everywhere before looking towards the stairs. Caleb has to be up there. Adam sets off in a sprint again and scrambles up the steps as fast as he can trust himself to go.

The whole tower is strangely silent and Adam can only hear his own footsteps echoing throughout the stairwell. He can feel his thighs burning as he stumbles up the stairs and he nearly falls on his back when the bells start ringing. The brief pause he takes after the sudden shock of sound costs him time and he pushes himself forward, even as his body buzzes with exhaustion.

His ribs feel like they might crack open as he finally bursts into the room at the top of the tower and he pauses for a second gasping for air as he surveys the room. It doesn’t seem like there’s anyone in here, apart from the ringing of bells the whole room is dark, empty, quiet.

For a second Adam wonders if Caleb even made it to the tower.

That’s when he sees him. 

Caleb is crumpled on the ground in the shadows on the other side of the room, not moving.

He’s not moving.

Adam’s feet move without thinking and suddenly he’s kneeling over Caleb, desperately clutching at his shirt.

“Caleb?” he cries out, trying to shake him a little. Caleb’s head lolls to the side and Adam feels his whole body tense up in dread. 

His skin is too cold to the touch. Far, far too cold. Adam can feel his throat closing up as a sob rises within him. Caleb shouldn’t be this cold, he shouldn’t be this limp. This isn’t right, this can’t be happening.

What if he’s dead? What if he’s gone completely? Adam’s chest is so tight he can’t breathe and he pulls Caleb into him, trying to feel some kind of movement, an exhale, some miniscule sign that he’s still alive. Something to say that Adam hasn’t lost him forever.

Caleb said he loved him and Adam didn’t even have the chance to say it back. He mutters it into Caleb’s chest now and grasps at his back desperately hoping so much that Caleb can feel it. That he’s still alive to feel it.

Adam’s fingers shake as he presses his fingers against Caleb’s wrist, trying to find some kind of pulse under his skin. In his panic, his hands are unsteady and he’s feeling too much, too little, for him to tell. His own heartbeat races through him too strongly for him to register anything from Caleb.

_ Please be alive. I love you. _

“Caleb?” Adam says again, his hands sliding up to cradle Caleb’s face, gripping his head and sliding his fingers into his hair. “Caleb, please.”

In his sleep, Caleb looks like a piece of art. Adam used to lie awake at night and memorise every inch of his jaw, his eyelashes, his nose, his mouth. He stares at those features again now, hoping with all his heart that life will come back to Caleb. That he’ll open his eyes, take in a breath, say something.

He wonders desperately what he can do but his body won’t do anything but cling onto Caleb and hope that he will wake up. Adam takes every hope, every wish within him and he  _ wills  _ Caleb to wake up. 

He has to.

“Caleb, don’t you dare die on me.”

Adam shakes him again and Caleb’s arm moves. For a second, Adam wonders if it was just the motion of him moving Caleb before it twitches again and Caleb’s body shifts on its own.

“Caleb? Caleb?” Adam repeats as relief floods through him. Caleb shifts in his arms and Adam distantly notices blood on the floor behind his head.

“Caleb! Come on, answer me!”

Caleb’s eyes are slowly blinking open at the sound of Adam’s voice and his gaze focuses blearily on Adam’s face.

“Adam?” he asks, voice unsteady but  _ there. _ Adam wonders if Caleb can feel the rush of joy that he feels at that moment as Adam pulls him in close and presses himself against Caleb.

“Oh... oh thank God. I thought... You hung up after... after... and then I couldn’t find you and you weren’t answering your phone and Oliver didn’t know where you were—”

Caleb squeezes Adam’s arm gently and pushes himself up from the ground, looking around him like he’s searching for something. Adam can only look at him.

“Where’s the book?” Caleb asks nervously.

“Did you destroy it?” Adam asks, finally tearing his eyes away from Caleb to glance across the room for the book.

“No... No, I... I came up here to get rid of it... to stop it once and for all, but I…” Caleb is trailing off and Adam faintly registers a concern that he might have a concussion. “I didn't realize the book was leading me here and when I did... it was too late.”

“What? Why? Caleb, what happened?!” Adam asks, panic flaring up in him once again.

“I fucked up, Adam,” Caleb gasps out, tears beginning to choke his voice. Adam takes him by the shoulders and forces Caleb to look at him.

“Fucking, just... tell me!” Adam cries out at him.

“It’s Professor Blackwell. He has the book.”

Caleb looks so small, so broken, and Adam’s heart stutters.

The boy he loves is sitting here in front of him, hurting and hopeless, and Adam has no idea what to do.


End file.
